Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Gale swallows.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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You're on fire.

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whats black. an african american person

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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