What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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girls basketball

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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