what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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66

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96

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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