There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

Robert Mugabe.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

A young baby died.

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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