Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

your mom

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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