Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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no pun intended

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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