jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

Nickelback

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

why are balck people black because they are

matt has ebola...funny right!?

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...