I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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