why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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no.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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DEATH.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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