What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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John Cena

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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