knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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John Cena

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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