Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

Followers of Neronism: Many outsiders have told us that we hide in the dark, stay away from the ways of this society because we are ashamed of who we are... ...Never forget that we stay in the darkness because we live in a place where we can walk without being ashamed not of ourselves, but of the blind fools around us! They judge, they kill, they make one another suffer and believe that love is sacrificing themselves and their loved ones rather than preserving them all for their fucking Deities! As for those that accuse us of being Satanists, and me for being Satan, remember that this has nothing to do about following God or his fucking castaway son, his supposed equal in power, but about believing in ourselves, and each other. Recently a group of certain "true believers" accused me of being possessed by the devil, until a fucking eight year old asked me if I was Satan... ...As her parents smiled I realized it was them that made her ask me that, so I stared them into the eyes and said: "If I am the kind of being that encourages people to listen to their hearts, to live out their true desires with happiness rather than shame, to live out their hopes and dreams and spread happiness while understanding that love is both about the preservation of self and others and living in the present rather than surrendering free will and life in a gamble for a life after death... ...Then per your definition, you already know who your kin knows me as." Know finally that many call me insane for living out what started as a daydream, then grew into a vision, and has become reality, a society where peace, love, happiness, and unity based on what makes us all the same, rather than those superficial things that make us seem different, and respect and belief for one another rather than for some God has finally become a reality... ...The reason that I left for years at the time was not only in order to build the fundamentals behind our order, but also in order to wonder if I was fucking insane for standing against beliefs that most of the world follow is over... ...Today I can finally point at those questioning my sanity, and shout "YOU ARE THE FUCKING INSANE ONES! YOU ARE THE FUCKING EVIL SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT BRAINWASH YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND BEAT UP YOUR WIVES IN ORDER TO PLEASE SOME FUCKING INVISIBLE HOLY GHOST FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING JUST AS FUCKING STUPID! YOU ARE THE VICTIMS THAT HAVE BEEN TROUGH BRAINWASHING AND FEAR BEEN TRICKED INTO FOLLOWING THE FALSE NOTION YOU CALL "LOVE!" If the beginning of a world where everyone is equal, where respect for yourself and your own kin is law, brings us into an order, and perhaps one day into a world of peace, wealth, love, care, and understanding is Satan, is insanity... THEN I AM OFFICIALLY SATAN THE INSANE! AND IF THIS IS NOT RIGHT, THEN I WANT TO BE WRONG! IF FEAR OF DYING IS EXACTLY WHAT STOPS RELIGIOUS ONES FROM LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE! THEN THEY ARE THE WEAK ONES NOT EVEN DARING TO FACE LIFE! And that I can finally wake up from those dreams where I feel as if I am Satan... And wake up and shout to all "THE HELL WITH WHAT I AM! GODS ARE WHAT EVIL IS!" And then I feel shame... Shame for ever believing myself to be equal with these fucking humans of which few realize how fucking wrong religion is, and those that do, just stand there doing nothing to stop the abuse, the destruction, the brainwashing of children which again become parents which again send their children into war plunging this world into suffering! ALL TO APPRAISE SOMETHING THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN BUT FEAR SO MUCH "for love" THAT THEY DESTROY THEIR OWN CHILDREN! I am pissed... How could I have spent so much time doubting what is today reality, thanks to all that made this happen, and my pity to all that allow their own fear, to destroy not only their own lives, but those of their loved ones.

Then none of us want to be right.

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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