Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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sky silverstein

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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