Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Your mom.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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