How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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