Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops