Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops