why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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8--------------------- penis

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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