What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops