What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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they're dead. idiot.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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mark is life

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops