Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have read the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops