Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

Hi

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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