Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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