If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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they're dead. idiot.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Yanter, Look it up

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops