Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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