Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ol-ive

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops