What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Oh, go away

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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your mom is so fat.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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