how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Corn Muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops