Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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fduck

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops