Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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