Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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What do you call an blank test? an F

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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