'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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