Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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pudding

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops