Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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