I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

knock knock. no one's home..

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

so a baby seal walks into a club...

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

What's the difference between a duck?

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

2+2= 478

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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