How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops