when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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kennah campion... being nice

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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all the kids had fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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