roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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