A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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