Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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