why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +9

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +58

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops