A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

equality for women

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

A BABY seal walks into a club

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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