What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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66

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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acuna

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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