What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

anti-joke teehee

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -31

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -89

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops