knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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