How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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I went to the store and I fell

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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