Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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69.9

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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