Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

Jesus

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...