What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Miami Heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops