How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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