Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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A fat man on a moped

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops