A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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